The Next Offensive Things to Cancel 

In the spirit of sarcasm, trying to help out the Left's purge

Since it is in vogue to cancel anything that could possibly be offensive to someone, we thought we'd compile a list to help grease the skids.

• Cheerios - Because they are White and Happy
• Hulu Hoops - Denigrates Hawaiian culture
• Lucky Charms - Mocks Irish leprechauns and magical beliefs.  Also need to cancel the Notre Dame mascot too!
• Fruit Loops and Looney Tunes - Shamefully makes mental illness look fun.
• Saturday Morning Cartoons of the 60s-80s - They glorify violence and conflicts.
• 12 Disciples of Jesus - Patriarchal mono-cultural group of radicals claiming Jesus is the Only Way
• Laws of Gravity and Newton - Discovered by a white man and is a real downer. 
• Helio-centrism and Copernicus - Causes distress for those who think everything revolves around them
• Milk - White racist drink, produced by involuntary servitude of an oppressed species. 
• Chopsticks - Should be banned for cultural appropriation.  It is offensive and stereotypical, as is the piano version of Chopsticks.
• Christmas (secular) - Marginalizes those who are oppressed by imperialist Capitalism.
• Christmas (religious) - Exclusivist celebration of the birth of a judgmental God.
• Thanksgiving - Racist Western celebration of taking advantage of native Americans.
• Fireworks - Wasteful militaristic displays that are environmentally irresponsible.
• Smartphones - Made with forced overseas labor and full of toxically created materials.  The direct cause of much harassment and intimidation on the Internet.
• Electric Car Batteries - Principally recharged with non-renewable resources.  They also cause much environmental damage in their creation and after their useful lifetime.
• Bacon - Not kosher.  Involuntarily cured from its original state, and involves bloody animal sacrifice.  It is offensive to Spider Pig, Wilbur, and Peppa Pig lovers 
• Birdfeeders - They promote invasive species and disrupt natural ecosystems, causing human dependence for enjoyment purposes 
• Cats - They don't respect boundaries, kill native species, and assert dominance over all other species.  Require forced sterilization to control population.
• Bicycles - Discriminatory toward non-binary gendered kids and those with coordination challenges.
• Jokes - By definition, they are generally offensive to someone or something.
• Sin, Evil, & Darkness - These terms offensively imply that something needs to be cleaned and made "White as snow"
• Traditional Family - Consists of non-inclusive hierarchical structure that indoctrinates children with cultural stereotypes and values.
• Candy - Many are offensively named: Smarties, Airheads, Payday, 3 Musketeers, Milk Duds, Almond Joy/Mounds, Nerds, Runts, Slo Poke, Sugar Daddy, Swedish Fish, Bazooka Bubble gum, Black Cow, Black Jack gum, Dum Dums, Good and Plenty, Warheads, ...

I would like to think that this is a satirical attempt at mocking the ridiculous extremes we've seen in the last few years, but I fear that some of these may be prophetic.  Time will tell.