Truth Month - July 2024
Day 8 - Speak Truth but with Love
When we were growing up, we (hopefully) were taught to always tell the truth. But then again, we were also told that it is not acceptable to hurt other people without justification. As we grew older and matured, we soon came to the realization that these are not always absolutes. In fact, it is very possible that these values conflict with each other in any given situation. Telling the truth can hurt someone, just as withholding or avoiding the truth can be destructive as well. Is it more loving to ignore the truth, but maintain a relationship? Should you share something that could break up a marriage, just to get it off your conscience? Should you tell your wife that the dress makes her look fat? The right thing to do is not always the easy thing either.
A moral principle that is applicable here is to "Do the greater good". (Sometimes this is framed as the more problematic, "Do the lesser of two evils"). Especially as Christians, we are called to love others as we love ourselves, and also to specifically show love within the body of Christ. Avoiding hard discussions is often not healthy, but timing and attitudes go a long way toward successful engagements. We should always keep in mind that we are desiring to build up the other person and not to tear them down.
Harsh truths can be very harmful and can end up being a weapon that hurts others. The level of personal relationship and trust between two people often determines the directness that can be given. Regardless, the motivation must always be to encourage and strengthen the other person, walking beside them as necessary. Also, listening first before putting forth accusations is wise and prudent. It is very possible that you have not been able to see the whole picture or where they are coming from. You could just be wrong too! Again, relationships matter. You are not likely to be able to open up to the person you see only once a week on Sunday morning, but you probably would feel much more comfortable sharing with someone who you have gotten to know and shared life together in other environments.
So yes, speak the truth as needed, but with a heart of compassion for those who hear it.
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