The Next Offensive Things to Cancel 

In the spirit of sarcasm, trying to help out the Left's purge

Since it is in vogue to cancel anything that could possibly be offensive to someone, we thought we'd compile a list to help grease the skids.

• Cheerios - Because they are White and Happy
• Hulu Hoops - Denigrates Hawaiian culture
• Lucky Charms - Mocks Irish leprechauns and magical beliefs.  Also need to cancel the Notre Dame mascot too!
• Fruit Loops and Looney Tunes - Shamefully makes mental illness look fun.
• Saturday Morning Cartoons of the 60s-80s - They glorify violence and conflicts.
• 12 Disciples of Jesus - Patriarchal mono-cultural group of radicals claiming Jesus is the Only Way
• Laws of Gravity and Newton - Discovered by a white man and is a real downer. 
• Helio-centrism and Copernicus - Causes distress for those who think everything revolves around them
• Milk - White racist drink, produced by involuntary servitude of an oppressed species. 
• Chopsticks - Should be banned for cultural appropriation.  It is offensive and stereotypical, as is the piano version of Chopsticks.
• Christmas (secular) - Marginalizes those who are oppressed by imperialist Capitalism.
• Christmas (religious) - Exclusivist celebration of the birth of a judgmental God.
• Thanksgiving - Racist Western celebration of taking advantage of native Americans.
• Fireworks - Wasteful militaristic displays that are environmentally irresponsible.
• Smartphones - Made with forced overseas labor and full of toxically created materials.  The direct cause of much harassment and intimidation on the Internet.
• Electric Car Batteries - Principally recharged with non-renewable resources.  They also cause much environmental damage in their creation and after their useful lifetime.
• Bacon - Not kosher.  Involuntarily cured from its original state, and involves bloody animal sacrifice.  It is offensive to Spider Pig, Wilbur, and Peppa Pig lovers 
• Birdfeeders - They promote invasive species and disrupt natural ecosystems, causing human dependence for enjoyment purposes 
• Cats - They don't respect boundaries, kill native species, and assert dominance over all other species.  Require forced sterilization to control population.
• Bicycles - Discriminatory toward non-binary gendered kids and those with coordination challenges.
• Jokes - By definition, they are generally offensive to someone or something.
• Sin, Evil, & Darkness - These terms offensively imply that something needs to be cleaned and made "White as snow"
• Traditional Family - Consists of non-inclusive hierarchical structure that indoctrinates children with cultural stereotypes and values.
• Candy - Many are offensively named: Smarties, Airheads, Payday, 3 Musketeers, Milk Duds, Almond Joy/Mounds, Nerds, Runts, Slo Poke, Sugar Daddy, Swedish Fish, Bazooka Bubble gum, Black Cow, Black Jack gum, Dum Dums, Good and Plenty, Warheads, ...

I would like to think that this is a satirical attempt at mocking the ridiculous extremes we've seen in the last few years, but I fear that some of these may be prophetic.  Time will tell.

How Far Will We Go? 

(In honor of the cancellation of Dr. Seuss)

We can cancel a book or silence a blog

We can redefine words or wipe out a job

We can purge all of history, its statues and docs

We can re-tell our truths while still in our socks

We can walk with Big Brother and Newspeak all day

We can lose all our freedoms and have justice delayed 

How far will we go when we get to the end?
What must we not say, which thoughts must we end?

We can have a New Deal to make the world green again

We can see weather change and claim crisis at hand

We can stop all the gas, all the jobs, all the coal

We can make it all green, no matter the toll

We can drive from the mountains down to the sea

We can power our cars with free gravity

How far will we go when we get to the end?

Will the future be bright, or bring darkness again?  

We can spend without limits for the future to pay

We can limit their reach so they have no say

We can open the doors and let everyone in

We can give freely to all, except those from within

How far will we go when we get to the end?

It doesn't much matter how big we can spend.  

We can change what it means to have sex or a race

We can shut down all laughs or be put in our place

We can signal our virtue by masking or speech

We can make it so girls cannot freely compete

We can demand equity, fairness, and love, as a start

We can judge others by color, but not of their heart

How far will we go when we get to the end?

Are we confused yet?  Don't want to offend.  

We can all become woke and feel good to ourselves

We can all just do something but make sure we compel

We can redefine words like truth, gender, and justice

We can have civil discourse, but just to affirm us

How far will we go when we get to the end?

They say Right is Wrong, for you but not me. 

We can say cops are bad and injustice abounds

We can defund and mock them until trouble surrounds

We can riot and protest for public display

We can decry the violence should things not go our way

We can be run by Ministries: Peace, Love, Plenty, and Truth

We can bow to our betters, watch our rights be removed

How far will we go when we get to the end?

Will we have peace or division again?

We can see the whole world through progressive eyes

We can choose not to see all the media lies

We can have unity and live as we're taught

We can purge all dissent and have uniform thought

We can be entertained by Netflix and bread

We can be empty inside and lonely instead

How far will we go when we get to the end?

We need to keep busy, but can I visit my friends?

How far will we go when we get to the end?

I fear we don't know. I guess it depends.